Introduction to Qualitative Research
Introduction to Qualitative Research
When I was bathing, I found a hard spot in my breast. I think my heart stopped and I began sobbing. I felt as if I was dying and I started crying [participant has tears in her eyes]. Finally, I told myself that it could be nothing and made myself finish bathing.
It was late at night so I knew that if I called the doctor’s office, there would be no answer. So, I waited… that was a miserable night. My husband was gone and I was all alone… except for God. I fell asleep praying to God that what I had found would end up being nothing.
I woke up the next morning, feeling like I had been beaten because I hurt in every part of my body… where my heart was supposed to be [participant places hand over her heart] felt like a big hole. I called the doctor’s office at 8 am and told the person who answered that I had to see the doctor. She said I could have an appointment in 2 weeks. I told her that I had found a lump and I thought I would go mad if I had to wait 2 weeks.
She put me on hold and went to see what could be done. I sat and prayed and waited. When she came back on the line, she said that the nurse practitioner would see me at 11 am. I hung up and realized that it was Monday and I was supposed to be at work.
I called the office and told the manager that I had an emergency and could not come in today. I could not bring myself to say what the emergency was… I was not ready for anyone to know. If someone else knew, it might be real and I wanted it all to be a bad dream that would be over soon.
I don’t remember what I did until 10 am when it was time to leave for the doctor’s clinic. I arrived early and sat in the waiting room turning the pages of a magazine… it must have been an hour before the nurse came to the waiting room and called my name.
I sat down in the exam room and began to cry. The nurse practitioner had not come in yet… she was surprised to see me crying when she opened my door. The first words out of my mouth were that my mother had died last year from breast cancer and I found a lump in my breast.
The next thing I remember I was being given a sedative. The nurse had gotten the number of a friend from my telephone and called my friend to come to the doctor’s office to pick me up. I knew the friend I told them to call was a kind soul and she would not ask a lot of questions but drop what she was doing to come.
(Introduction to Qualitative Research)
The doctor came in when I was drifting in and out of sleep on the table. My breast was uncovered and the nurse had washed and washed it to get it all ready. I could not hold my eyes open… I was so sleepy… but I wanted her to cover my breast.
I felt naked and did not want everyone coming in and out to see my breast. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up, there was a bandage on my breast and it hurt so bad. The nurse said I could go… my friend was here to take me home.
I could not think… and she helped me up and led me to where my friend was waiting… I had tears running down my face… I could not seem to stop crying. My friend took my hand and led me to her car… just then I realized I drove my car and had no way of getting it home. She said not to worry… she would take care of it.
At home, my friend asked if I had called my husband… I started crying again… how would I ever tell him… I did not even know the diagnosis yet. I knew he would be so worried and rush home… but we needed his job.
I said I would wait until I knew something… then I thought how mad my husband would be that I had not called. But I knew he would worry and be driving home all worried and might get in a crash… I would never be able to stand that.
The medicine the doctor gave me was very strong and all I wanted to do was sleep. I woke up and it was dark in my room and my husband was sitting on my bed. I asked him how he got there and he said my friend had called and said I needed him.
(Introduction to Qualitative Research)
I started crying again… I thought all my tears were gone but they kept coming… I must have fallen asleep again because I woke up when the telephone rang. My husband answered and handed the phone to me.
It was the doctor. He tried to be nice but I knew it was bad news… he said I should come in the morning to the hospital so they could run some more tests… I was glad for the medicine the doctor gave me for pain… I hung up and took another pill.
I was too tired to think and just wanted to cry.
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