Letter of Analysis – Becoming a Better Academic Writer
Letter of Analysis – Becoming a Better Academic Writer
Dear Royce,
I went through your classical argument and identified the following:
Praise
Your thesis or focus of the paper is clear and well developed, and sustained throughout the paper. The essay focuses on the importance of communication in the clinical environment and the consequence of communication failure. The thesis highlights the problem statement indicating that not all members are involved in communication currently, the interventions to enhance communication, including using a standardized checklist, participating in simulation-based training, and providing education on the communication process to every member, and the outcome, which is improved communication among interdisciplinary team members. These thesis elements are sustained throughout the paper, with supported information from current, peer-reviewed studies. You did well in this section, and you achieved your stated purpose. I was also impressed with your idea development corresponding to the thesis. Your reasoning is clear and logical, and every statement and point developed or argument brought forward is well-thought and convincing. Regarding idea development, I am convinced you did a proper job, which helped sustain the thesis elements throughout the paper and deliver a compelling argument.
(Letter of Analysis – Becoming a Better Academic Writer)
Recommendations
However, I have concerns about some elements of writing that you need to improve to become a better academic writer. Your thesis and idea development is proper, but your organization or rhetorical arrangement, paragraph organization, and transitions within the paragraphs need improvement. Although the ideas are well developed, the organization is flawed and sometimes fails to support the focus and unify the ideas in your essay. The organization contains gaps that, if addressed, would make the essay more aesthetic and free-flowing. Notably, the organization does not attend to the APA style regarding heading levels. The level one headings in a classical argument are the introduction, background, body (argument), opposition, refutation, and conclusion. I am more interested in the body section of the paper. Based on your thesis and main ideas, the interventions shared are subtopics within the body section and should be developed as level two headings rather than level one. Also, it is vital to use heading levels provided in word to specify level one and level two headers.
Your paragraph organization and transition within the paragraphs are a major concern. Often, a paragraph has a topic sentence, evidence, critical thinking, and a transition, meaning that a paragraph requires at least four sentences. Some paragraphs have less than four sentences and do not follow the basic paragraph model. For instance, paragraphs one and two have three sentences. Paragraph four has two sentences. Paragraph nine has three sentences. Your paragraphs should follow the basic model to be more convincing and make your essay more robust. Also, you mention research studies in some paragraphs without in-text citations, for instance, in paragraphs one, three, and five. Your refutation paragraph is not evidence supported. Notably, most of your citations are indicated at the end of the paragraph instead of within the paragraph and at the end of the evidence sentence (s). Proper citations would make your work more credible and reliable.
(Letter of Analysis – Becoming a Better Academic Writer)
Strategies for Improvement
Based on these concerns, I would advise that your review essay structuring or rhetoric organization and paragraph structuring and transition notes provided by the instructors. To improve essay structure:
- The Paragraph Shuffle: Create a set of index cards, with one card for each paragraph in your essay. Write one idea per index card. If you have more than one idea in each paragraph, write the second (and third, etc.) idea on a separate card. Now, shuffle the cards. Inspect the order. Try rearranging the cards to deliver your focus, ideas and overall message more effectively.
- Color The Categories: Use a highlighter to separate your ideas into categories. Use one color highlighter to mark all of your sentences dealing with one category in your essay. Use a different color to code the second category, etc. Now organize your essay into matching colors/categories
To improve paragraph structuring and transition within paragraphs, I recommend:
- Basic Paragraph Model: Use this paragraph model to make sure your body paragraphs are developed and organized so that readers can clearly understand the relationship between your ideas and the progression of your thoughts.
- Topic Sentence: states the main idea of this paragraph and shows how it supports the thesis
- Evidence: expert opinion, example, fact, statistical, or logical argument
- Critical Thinking: analyzes, synthesizes and/or evaluates the evidence
- Transition: makes a connection between the main idea of this paragraph, the thesis statement of the paper, and the main point of the next paragraph.
- Transition Test: or Q & A
- Look at the last sentence of your body paragraph.
- Write three questions about your main idea. Begin each question with how, why, or what.
- Now look at the first sentence of the following paragraph–does it answer or respond to any one of those implied questions? If not…
- Write the answer to the question…
- That answer may fit as the first sentence of your paragraph that already exists.
- OR! You may need to create another new paragraph.
